In the past, I may have, on occassion, had a bit of a whinge about Australian airlines and airports. After seeing how flights around Europe work, I just want to say I'm sorry, and I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again.
We have a few short flights to take inside Europe and the UK on this trip. The first was Munich to Berlin, via Air Berlin. This was only a very quick 1 hour hop, and although the airport was rubbish, the security measures extreme, and Fiona and I got shafted into separate rows despite booking the flight several months ago, it was fairly uneventful.
Today we are flying from Berlin to Edinborough, through a budget carrier called EasyJet, which I'm certain must have been the basis for the TV show "Come fly with me".
After the last experience, we knew it wouldn't be as simple as say flying from Sydney to Brisbane, so we arrived early. The first thing we noticed was there were several unhappy looking Germans waiting right near the baggage drop desk. Apparently you aren't allowed to drop off your bags unless your flight is departing within the next 2 hours. They time this down to the minute. So anyway, we check our bags, and proceed to security.
Security at German airports is ridiculous. Fiona and I stripped down to almost naked, and the metal detector still went off for both of us. This then means a frisking by some enormous German bloke barking orders in half German, half broken English. Oh, and you've got a camera in your bag? Get it out. Show me a picture on it. And I'll just take the lense cap off and stare into it to make sure it is indeed a camera, and not a couple of kilos of C4 explosives shaped exactly like a camera.
Ok so all fine now, get a coffee and stuff, flight will depart in an hour or so, no idea what gate though as its not on the board. Finally it appears on the board, and it immediately says "boarding". Rush to the gate, line up for a passport check to see if we are permitted to leave the country. We hand over our passports, the police officer says "There is no stamp. How did you get to Berlin?" We explain that we caught a flight from Munchen, and nobody stamped our passports. She looks worried. She then starts quizzing us, wanting our life story for the last month, wanting train tickets and boarding passes that we simply don't have, because who the hell keeps their old boarding passes? She even tries calling someone on the phone, there appears to be no answer, meanwhile the line behind us is building up, and we are getting just slightly worried that we will be incarcerated in Germany for not keeping an old boarding pass. Finally, she just shrugs, hands back our passports, and says we can go. Ok then.
Having apparently passed the thorough, somewhat confusing test put to us by the police, we walk around a corner, present our boarding passes and passports for I think the third time now, before being prodded into a tiny waiting room area with a plane load of people in it, to wait for the plane to arrive.
Eventually the plane arrives and my first thoughts are that it looks old. Certainly older than the planes used by Virgin and Jetstar (I found out later it was an airbus A319, launched in 1995). I tell Fiona that it is most likely on its last legs, having flown many tens of thousands of short hops across Europe over the last 20 years or so. She doesn't appreciate this.
Finally, by pure luck and as if it was some special test of patience devised just for me, there was an old scottish woman sitting in my seat. Being as polite and charming as possible, I informed the lady that I believed she was in my seat, and asked if she would mind moving. She responded sharply, and without hesitation, that seat "C" was nearest the window. Fortunately, before I got the chance to cause an international air rage incident, the flight attendant stepped in to confirm that I was in the right, and a very disgruntled old lady got out of the way to let us in, making no eye contact with either of us for the rest of the trip.
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