Las Vegas...The city that never sleeps.

Vegas is up there with the most ridiculous places I've ever been (and I've been to Canberra, twice). It's a town that solely exists for the tourist trade. Theres no other possible reason for having a city in the middle of a windy, hot desert, full of strippers and casinos.

The good

The best things about Vegas in my opinion are:
1. The accommodation is cheap, and well appointed.
Our outrageous suite at the MGM was about $100/night and included such features as a toilet phone (that's a phone located near the toilet, not whatever you're thinking of), bathroom TV, jacuzzi, lounge, king bed and balcony with view of the strip.

2. There is something for everyone. Whatever you're into entertainment-wise you'll be able to find it. No, not that. I mean shows, rollercoasters, exhibitions, etc.

3. The 'scenery'
There are shiny things to look at everywhere you go. Casino foyers you walk into and go 'woooowww'. Neon lights of ludicrous proportion. Ladies wearing dresses that are at least 2 sizes to small, which you didn't look at because you're engaged and therefore busy keeping your eyes to yourself, but if they happen to walk right in front of your eyeballs well then it couldn't be helped.

4. Boyz II Men
Simply exquisite. If you get the chance, do see them.

The bad

1. The fake-ness.
Everything has that fake, tacky feel about it that can only come about in a place that is completely, unashamedly geared towards tourists. Worse still, American tourists.

2. Getting around
Be mindful of the distances in this city. That casino that looks like its 'just over there' from your balcony is probably a 15 minute cab ride away, which means walking there in the 47 degree heat (or 1240 degrees Fahrenheit) is out of the question.

BTW, taking a cab is another adventure in itself. Be ready for everyone from 'silent man' to 'overly aggressive New Yorker', to 'Grumpy compulsive whinger'.

3. Tipping
How the hell does tipping work? If anyone figures it out, please let me know. You're supposed to tip everyone from the guy that held the door open to the guy that smiled at you slightly when you walked out of that same door. I tipped some people that brought me food and parked my car. Job done.

4. Woo guys
You've heard of 'Woo girls' - its those chicks that are out without their partners for the first time in 8 months. Maybe it's a hens night, maybe a birthday, whatever. When in a large group, excited and with 1.5 drinks under their belts, they make this unimaginable high pitched noise like "woooooooo!".

Yeah well Vegas is full of the male equivalent. Groups of 3-6 dudes. They've got a few drinks in them, they are in Vegas for the first time, unsupervised, and feel the need to go " woooooooo!" and give sloppy, uncoordinated high 5's all round every time one of them wins a $5 blackjack hand.

5. Being hassled on the strip
The minute you dare to walk outside a casino, be ready to be hassled by people trying to hand you the business cards of strippers and put you in a limo to take you to said strippers.

Top Tip: Fiona and I soon figured out that holding hands reduced the number of offers we received by about 50%. The other half presumably thought we were into some weird stuff.

Disneyland!!!!!

It's easy to see why Disneyland describes itself as 'The happiest place on earth'. It truly is the stuff that dreams are made of. Not mine specifically, but some people's.

When Fiona and I were first planning our trip to California and thinking of places we just had to visit, we both agreed that Disneyland was a place in California and that she really wanted to go there.

Today we fulfilled Fiona's childhood dream, and I have to admit that I too ended up being drawn in by the atmosphere.

We took lots of photos throughout the day. I'd like to share some of these with you that I think best document our visit to the happiest place on earth.

Me after arriving:

Me with a marching band:

Me before Splash Mountain:

Me before Space Mountain:

Me after Space Mountain:

Me in a teacup:

Me on the teacup ride:

Me without a churro:

Me with a churro:

Me on the carousel:

Fiona after Eeyore left and she couldn't get a photo:

Fiona and I on the railroad ride:

Me on Splash Mountain:

H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D

Hollywood is a place of contradictions. Definitely not all glitz and glamour. You see everything from homeless people to Ferrari's, and dodgy strip clubs just metres from expensive restaurants.

The first dose of reality came when we started walking the wrong way down Hollywood boulevard after getting off the metro. I was keen to find Tom Cruise's star on the walk of fame, but it quickly became obvious that we were more in the Tom Jones section.

Once headed the right way we had better luck. Stumbled across "Amoebia records", by far the biggest record/CD/DVD/Cassette/VHS/etc store I've ever seen.

We took a long walk down the strip and as a bonus witnessed a sherrif breaking up a fight between two women, one of which had apparently looked at the other's dog in a funny way (yes really). Fantastic. Just like watching COPS.

It was getting dark and we were thirsty. Fortunately we had passed a strip of bars earlier on that was a couple of blocks back from the main strip and had much less of a " tourist trap" and more of a local feel.

I was initially drawn to the dodgy, noisy sports bar, but not having cider available was a deal breaker for Fee, and the beer was flat, so we moved on to a craft beer/burger joint. 

A few delicous beers and several conversations with locals later (one of whom straight up offered me weed), Fiona informed me that I was "being a pest" to people (I wasn't), and it was time to go home.

Sydney to LA with Virgin

I've watched a few episodes of "Ultimate Airport Dubai" recently, which in itself is actually a really boring proposition. It's basically a show about how an airport works. Nothing much beyond the drama of a couple of people missing a flight ever happens. However, I realised this morning at the airport that it had equipped me with an amazing talent - the ability to narrate and dramatise my whole journey through a departure.

This has significantly improved my airport experience. Suddenly being stuck in a check in line silently waiting your turn and wishing it would hurry up,  has become *voiceover* "Simon and Fiona are attempting to check-in for their Virgin Australia flight to Los Angeles. They only have another 2.5 hours to make it to the gate for departure. Will they get there on time?". And a confusing attempt at humour by the customs guy becomes *voiceover* "Border protection officer Craig jokes with Simon and Fiona about their occupations. Unfortunately, it does not go well."

Lets make this Top tip #1:
When bored at the airport, narrate yourself through mundane tasks to anyone that will listen.

We had intended to get our hands on some duty free whisky for the wedding*, and were quickly spotted by one of the shop attendants and reeled in by her tractor beam. This went well. Turns out that at airports, like any whisky place, if you show the slightest interest and knowledge in the product, and drop a few words like "peat" and "single malt", followed by an angry comment about heathens that mix coke with it, youll be tasting the best stuff in no time.

* Whisky will likely not make it to the wedding, will instead form part of private collection.

Top tip #2:
Drink single malt scotch.

8 tastings and 4 litre bottles of scotch later, we went to the gate to wait for the plane. I immediately noticed an american talking to anyone that would listen whilst wearing his neck pillow. I tried to put this out of mny mind whilst continuing with ocassional narrations, which was starting to annoy fee a bit, right up until "Michael Jordan" was repeatedly being paged to get on his flight. Finally, some airport drama!

Top tip #3:
Don't wear your neck pillow in the terminal, ever.

...and #4:
If you're going to be late for a flight, don't have the name "Michael Jordan". Everyone will laugh.

Boarding was uneventful. We settled in, then were promptly told by the captain, in the most soothing voice he could muster, that there was a "gremlin in the computer", which he was getting an engineer to sort out. Not exactly a confidednce booster for any nervous flyers on board.

Top tip #5:
If you're the captain of a jumbo jet, speak with confidence and never refer to an issue with a Boeing 777 as a "gremlin".

Two hours and several gremlin-based announcements later, we were finally on our way. There were several boisterous claps from the rear of the aircraft. And I'm sorry, but...

Top tip #6:
Don't applaud airctaft takeoffs and landings. Its not 1904, the miracle of flight has been with us a while now.

OK, so problems aside, quick flight review time:

The service
Very friendly, even in the face of snobby, pointless questions from the lady that "brought all her own food" and yet still wants to know if the chicken will be served separately from the pasta, as she's not "doing the carbs thing".

The space
The 777 doesnt feel like it has as much room as an equivalent airbus. But its not bad. Can stetch legs out quite easily.

The entertainment
Very ordinary. The system works ok once you figure out that your fingernail is basically the only thing that will make the touch screen register, but the content library is small, and not that good. Couple of OK movies, that's it. Terrible shows. Season 10 ep 5 of "modern family" anyone?

The food
Good. Only complaint is that during dinner there was quite a lot of turbulence. Cmon Virgin Australia, why would you have turbulence right when dinner is being served?

Top tip #7:
Arrange for any turbulence to be outside of meal times.

EDIT: I have since learned that turbulence is a phenomenon caused by invisible pockets of air in the sky. It is NOT caused by airlines. I apologise to Virgin Australia and other Virgin subsidiaries for any damages caused.

On to LA!

London

We have just finished a 5 night stay in foggy London town, and it's been fantastic. I could spend all day writing about all the things we've seen and done, so Instead I'll make a list, in roughly chronological order:

* Shared a pint and a roast at the pub with Samantha (Hi Sam!)
* Slept in (a couple of times)
* Visited the local starbucks
* Walking tour (Buckingham Palace, Prince Charles' house, Big Ben, house of parliament, Trafalgar square etc.)
* Jack the Ripper tour (disgusting stories, but good tour. Met some interesting east end folk in the process, and a particularly annoying American. More on this later.)
* Tour of Lords cricket ground (By a slightly senile bloke that was old enough to have seen Bradman play)
* Walked across Abey Road (with every other tourist twat in London)
* Visited Harrod's department store (Predicably, Fiona loved it, I hated it. The bloke in the toilet expected a tip for pointing out where the soap was. Sod off, I can work that one out for free mate.)
* Visited Harrod's ice cream parlour (best thing all afternoon)
* Saw "Dirty Dancing" the musical (Somewhat embarrasingly, really enjoyed this. Lets refrain from questioning my sexuality and just put this down to a quality 80s soundtrack.)
* Caught up with James and Thomas at Hyde park (Jolly good fun. Hi James! Hi Thomas!)
* Visited the Churchill war rooms museum (excellent.)
* Ate bangers and mash with a pint of English ale
* Saw "Spamalot" the musical (By the monty python crew. Hillarious. Only thing funnier than the show was Fiona's laughing.)
* Serenaded Fee with the songs from "Spamalot" for 24 hours.
* Visited the tower of London (Fantastic. Especially if like me, you enjoy a good suit of armour and a gawk at the crown jewels)
* Walked over the tower bridge
* Had a sausage roll and pie with mash at the Borough markets.
* Saw Shakespeare's globe theatre.
* Had a nap.
* Caught up with Mick and Krysty for some pints, some foozball and some tapas. (Loved every minute. Hi Mick! Hi Krysty!)
* Caught a train to Chester.

...And that brings us up to now.

So, obviously there is heaps to do in London. We have only just scratched the surface. It does come at a price though, having easily been our most expensive stop so far, but as mainland Europe was much cheaper than we expected this hasn't been a big concern. It is also very crowded, although people generally seem very curteous and patient, so this helps a lot. Even when lugging around bags and inadvertantly getting in peoples way, they seem to just take it in their stride and you rarely cop a nasty look like I'm sure you would in Sydney.

I think the pubs also deserve a special mention. Many are underground, dimly lit and serve beer at room temperature and food that while tasty is probably taking years off your life. However they are very atmospheric and full of character, and once you're in one you really do feel like staying all day/afternoon/night. That summises my feelings about London in general quite well actually. It's not ideal, or particularly pretty, but it has so much atmosphere and character that you can't help but love it.

   

Ghosts in Edinburgh!

Edinburgh was our first stop in the UK and where we first met up with my parents and sister. For those who don't know Erin has been in the UK for about 9 months now and has done some pretty serious traveling while over here. Before we met up Erin had called us in Berlin and asked if we would do a ghost tour while in Edinburgh with her, she had found one that takes you into a locked part of the old graveyard. Who could say no to an offer like that!
We only had about 36 hours in Edinburgh so a Ghost Tour sounded like a great way to see some of the city at night, and here about the city's gory past.
Now I had never realised what a complete sook my little sister is! When we met up for the tour guide the guide starts by telling of all the ghostly accounts people have had on the tour. He advises us that they have over 3000 people willing to write about their own experiences, and many more who didn't want to go on the record. He then tells us of all the people who have been knocked out cold on this tour, or come back with unexplained marks and scratches. By this stage my sister was already white as a ghost (sorry about the pun) but when the guide advised the group we were on this tour at our own risk Erin was ready to go home!
Thankfully Erin decided to risk the tour on the condition she could hold my hand (I personally was glad someone was more scared then me as normally I'm the sook).
As we walked through the city we heard about the cities dark past, witch burning, plague pits and possibly the first recorded concentration camp. We worked our way to a graveyard. This graveyard is famous for a dog greyfriars bobby that was loyal to his owner after he died and sat on his grave everyday until he died (although this story is exaggerated and has been made into a Disney movie). The graveyard is also the resting place of Tom Riddle (you should know who that is).
In the corner of this grave yard there is a locked section only accessible on this tour. It has been locked by the city council due to a poltergeist that haunts this section.
This grave yard is creepy, it is very old and there are so many bodies that after heavy rain bones frequently come out of the ground. It is built next to the old city wall and some greaves actually have cages over them from back when stealing bodies to sell was an issue.
So the entire tour are standing in a crypt in the locked and haunted part of the grave yard (Erin and I still holding hands). The guide starts going into detail of how people are attacked in this particular crypt. Next thing a man in a cape leaps through the door of the crypt and scares the shit out of us. Erin and I scream. Erin leaps back so she is not attacked dragging me with her which would have been OK if she didn't step on the old lady behind her and both of us didn't smack into Simon. Eventually Erin calms down after calling the man a few choice words and Simon and I stop laughing.
This is the end of the tour and a pint is required to calm everyone's nerves!

Prague

Prague is probably the most beautiful city in the world, and has definitely been one of my favourite stops so far. This is despite the fact that it rained almost the entire time we were there.
The historical centre of Prague is beautiful, and it is like walking back in time or onto a movie set. We also found Prague to be rather inexpensive and it has the best street food ever!
We had a few days in Prague so we got to do a little bit of exploring.
One of the first things we did was walk into the town square to where the famous astronomical clock is. Now every hour this clock does a performance, and every hour hundereds of tourists crowd around to see it. Don't get me wrong this clock is beautiful and an amazing piece of work especially when you consider how old it is and what it does, but this "performance" is  a little bit ridiculous. A few doors open,  a skeleton rings a bell and there is some sort of chicken that clucks.
Clocks aside we saw some incredible things in Prague.
The beautiful castle where we saw the changing of the guards, Saint Nicholas's church (this lead to a strange conversation about why Santa has a church and how baby Jesus delivers presents at Christmas not Santa) and we crossed three beautiful Charles Bridge. An absolute highlight was the nuclear bunker tour, we got to hear about the communist occupation of the Czech Republic after WWII and the lead up to the Czech Republic becoming a Republic. As part of this tour we got to go into a nuclear bunker that was built by the communists. Within the bunker there is a climbing wall, bar and a museum (yep 3 things you expect in a bunker). In the museum there was an amazing collection of gas masks and gas mask products including gas mask cribs for baby's complete with hand pump for Mum to pump air into the crib. We even got to try on a gas mask and hold an assault rifle (Simon advised me after I posed with it for photos that it actually was a real rifle).
Food was a definite highlight in Prague (ok it has been a highlight of the whole trip!). In the main squares there are a head of market stands, and a heap of food stalls. These stalls sold corn on the cob, ham off the bone, chips, spiraled fried potatoes, cider and hot dogs. But my favourite were these amazing donought like creations called Trdelnik, which is basically dough rolled around a rolling pin and cooked on a grill then rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Delicious!
One of the most interesting restaurants we attended was in Prague. Simon had a minor case of man flu so had spent one afternoon in bed sleeping (this was the perfect opportunity for me to buy a bohemian crystal vase when he wasn't looking!) so we set out to find something close to the hotel that was somewhat healthy, mainly not deep fried and served in a smoky tavern. Just around the corner from the hotel we found a restaurant that served pretty standard food - meat and veggies which sounded perfect. What we didn't realise was that this was a themed restaurant. So as we opened the door to get a table and a man dressed like Fred Flinstone complete with animal skin and face paint rushed to meet us. We had walked in to a cave man themed restaurant! We were taken into a large room which was made up with fake rocks complete with cave art and large (hopefully fake) bones decorating the place. To order your meal you were given a large menu and each item had a corresponding code, you had to write the codes down on a supplied notepad and then.... bang a giant rock on your table to get your waiters attention. In fact anytime you wanted anything such a drink or the bill you had to bang your table rock. The wait staff were all looking like they were from the set of the Flinstones and spoke in some sort of cave man language. It was a really fun experience (and rather noisy with all the rocks being banged) and the food was fantastic!
Prague was really one of my favourite cities, everything in the historical centre was just beautiful and it is definitely a place I will be visiting again. Although leaving Prague I was faced with the issue of traveling while keeping a bohemian crystal vase safe....